Elizabeth, Scott and Scotty Wilder

Garibaldi

Had some real visitors last night. Cuz' Harry and Lynne came to town and we dined at Garibaldi. I have to admit that I had one of the best dinners out (meaning, not at home or next door) in a long, long time! And as a result, I slept non-stop last night!

Hopefully the bank will not call our loan

I am not the type to panic about what is going on in the financial markets, even as I watch my bank, Washington Mutual, get sold for zero cents on the dollar.

But after watching the market go down close to 800 points, I am reminded of the movie, It's a Wonderful Life.

Clarification

Several days ago, I wrote about a new medical finding. I wrote about how viruses or infections might cause most Stillbirths. In the last two days, a few people have asked me about whether or not a virus or some sort of bacteria caused Natalie's death.

As mentioned in a much earlier post, we don't know what caused Natalie's death. We met with Dr. Katz (in a hat)and he basically said the good news / bad news is that 'we don't know what happened.' But there are definitely some good people putting research dollars and energy into this area.

   

A new dentist

These days, Elizabeth is taking very good care of me.

She is taking no chances with my health (for obvious reasons).

Note: one of the reasons she is not taking any chances is because I sometimes put too much faith in people, especially doctors

During a recent check up visit, I told the doctor that I had a pain in the side of my stomach for over a month. Instead of telling me to lie down on the examination table and looking me over, he just said 'it will be fine. There is nothing there anyway that could cause you pain.'

So today, I visited Elizabeth's dentist. And I have to say that she 'sure knows how's to pick them.' Here are some of the highlights:

• During the examination, I wore goggles. In fact, I was their first patient to ever wear goggles during an examination (at least that's what they told me), which I had to do to ensure that no flying objects from my mouth poked me in the eye. Next time, I am bringing my own shades. Maybe my swimming goggles.
• It was the first time my teeth did not hurt when the hygienist was cleaning them. Instead of risking getting bitten by me (i once did bite a hygienist), she numbed my teeth a little bit so I would not flinch or jump when she was cleaning my teeth. I like having my teeth numbed.
• They congratulated me on still having my wisdom teeth (even though half of them have little cavities.)

Nora, we need you

With all the stress in our lives, Elizabeth and I are reaching out for some good old fashioned physical therapy. It is amazing how stress can trigger old injuries and pains and cause new sores and strains. Yes, chronic pain has been preventing us from sleeping well or working at our best. 

Most of my stress was the result of meeting a deadline or getting 'the job done.' But now, I am experiencing a new type of stress, which is due to loss. And do to some other factors such as "could have I done something different, could I have prevented what happened, or why couldn't I control the outcome.'  And there is just plain old unresolved grief. Even though we are both doing better, there is still a long and winding road ahead of us.

The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
Ive seen that road before
It always leads me her
Lead me to you door

These days, Elizabeth's shoulder is sore and my back feel like there are pieces of metal in it. So, we are sending an SOS (save our soul) to Nora, one of the top physical therapists in town.

Nora just launched her own rehab place called SmartFit, but has years of experience in helping athletes and more important, my in-laws. In fact Mr. and Mrs. Abbott are so fond of her that the four of us are thinking about asking Nora to make a day long-house call, to help us through these challenging times.

So last week, I started morning PT rituals with Nora. But, my wife isn't taking any chances she also got me a nice chair for my home office and occas ionally reminds me to work on my posture.

Here's to Greenie

As several of my family members know, Mark, my nephew, recently left his favorite doll, Greenie, in a New York City taxi cab. Mark has been upset for a few days.

Yesterday, he woke up at 5 am in the morning crying for Greenie. He asked his parents to call the police to get the doll back.

For us grown ups, loosing a doll doesn't seem to be a big deal. But you know what? It all depends on who are and where you are sitting. We all grieve in our different ways.

Elizabeth and I have received close to a 100 emails and notes from our special friends and family. To those of you who have encouraged us to 'do whatever feels right,' thank you. Your words of love and support have been very helpful in our healing process.

Mark, Aunt Elizabeth and I are thinking of you and have sent you a little gift.

Guess what? ----- It's green!

Easter Sunday

Today is Easter Sunday. It marks the day of Jesus' resurrection on the third day after his death. Life is ironic. Natalie passed away on a Friday and then on the third day (Sunday), she was born.

This morning, Elizabeth and I stopped by the Swedenborgian Church after its Easter Service. The same Church where we were married. We spent a few minutes alone, thinking about our daughter. Life is ironic. She was just beginning her life (and was with us) at our wedding.

This am, we ran into Reverend Rachel, who reminded us that the week before Easter is a time that life seems normal, but in fact, it is a time when the unexpected and terrible happens. And then there is a day that marks a rebirth and a new beginning.

"I refuse to wear cabbage"

Well, the learnings keep on happening. (For all of us). Even after last week's events. Elizabeth is now dealing with engorged (engorgeous) breasts. (I should not make jokes because she told me that it is painful and uncomfortable).

To deal with this situation, she did some research on the web and found an interesting remedy. It involves cabbage. Instead of me writing a summary of how to use cabbage, I thought I would share with you a comment I found on someone's blog. In response to a grieving woman's question about how to relieve breast engorgement, the most popular remedy suggested by other women was to wear cabbage leaves. Here's one woman's response, which we found quite funny, despite what we are going through:

Olive Lucy Kawecki said... It sucks to know this information 1st hand. My milk came in the night before my daughters funeral and i refused to wear cabbage to the services and cemetery. because in my opinion my daughter gave me very beautiful breast. I digress...the next day i began using cabbage. I used cabbage very cold in fact frozen cabbage leaves. I smelled like cabbage soup. in a VERy tight front closing sports bra with. i also used frozen wash cloths, because they were cold but also the "molded" to my breast after a few moments. It took my milk a few weeks to stop letting down. when my engorgement passed i ace bandaged the heck out of my breast. I wore cabbage until i had made my way through whole head of it. To any mother reading these comments now i am sorry for your loss. it doesn't seem like it but it does get easier.

To read more about the cabbage patch, check out this blog.